Benji was showing me what he got at the mall.
At the time I wasn't really paying very much attention. I was thinking about what Billy had said to me the night before.
"What's the date?" I blurted out without realizing
he was still talking.
"Uh, I donno February 9th, why?"
"Shit... I gotta to be somewhere."
"Oh yah? Where? Like are you late for whatever
it is right now?"
"Umm I'm not sure, what time is it?"
"Quarter past one." As he told me this a thousand
things rushed through my mind but mostly 'shit! shit! shit!' I knew right then that I might be too late, I was in trouble.
"Fuck, I'm so late! Sorry but I have
to go, like, now." I picked up my book bag that I always carry with me and rushed over towards Billy, who almost looked
like he was deep in thought.
"Hey hun, what's up?" He asked thoughtfuly.
"I gotta go do some shit, ok? So I'll see
"Oh, okay, well, I'll call you?" He asked.
"Um yah, ok," I said as I leaned in for one
of those big good-bye kisses. After I got my kiss, I then kind of ran out of the door. As I'm walking
quickly down the hall of the building I hear Billy's voice coming from the other end.
"What's so important anyways babe?" I looked
back to anwser him.
"I gotta babysit my little brother."
* * *
As I pulled into my driveway I could
already hear the sceamimg coming from inside. It was my mother's, I could tell because my dad was at work already that
I ran in trying to find Nicky, my little brother.
Oh please let him be okay I kept saying to myself over and over again.
"There you are!" My mother screamed at me.
"I'm so sorry I'm late, I just didn't know
what time it was and I kind of forgot about it, I'm sorry."
"Well sorry doesn't cut it around
here, missy! I'm suppose to be at work in 10 minutes! That doesn't even give me time to stop for a beer!" I knew I had
this coming to me as soon as I woke up this morning, I face it everyday so you'd think I would have gotten used to it
by now. After all, 18 years is a long time.
She stomped out the door, leaving me to "deal
with my thoughts," Yeah right, the only thoughts I had at the time was wishing she would drop dead. Just then I
remembered the whole reason I came home.
"Nicky!" I yelled running through the house
looking for him. As I went up stairs I nervously looked down, just like expected I saw tiny drops of blood heading
towards my little brother's room.
"O-m-g, Nicky? Where are you?" I asked as
I followed the blood stained carpet trail. When I got there I was thinking that it was all my fault, why should
he get punished because I was late?
"Sara?" A child's voice was coming from
inside the closet. I slowly walked over to the closed door and got on my knees as I opened it.
"Are you okay, babe?" I said as least threatening
as I could.
"My face hurts," He said trembleing. I picked
him up and carried him downstairs to the kitchen. I gently sat him down on the counter and looked in the fridge for some ice.
Since this happened so often I always had a wet facecloth in the freezer. I placed it over is bleeding black eye.
"I'm sorry hunny, I'm so sorry," I almost
burst into tears right then and there.
"It's okay," he said shaking his head and
taking hold of the facecloth, "Don't worry it wasn't your fault, it was mine, Mommy just hates me, and when I make her made
she just..." I had to stop him or I would lost myself.
"Shh it's okay now okay? Everything fine,
I'm here," I said as I held him in my arms.