When I brought her home
that night, she didn't say a word until we were almost to her house.
"Did you happen to see
anything unusual when you came to get me this morning at my house?"
I couldn't help but
not say anything, because I wasn't sure what she meant by the question. She stared at me like I knew something that she didn't
want me to know. I could tell that she was getting impatient with me.
"Do you maybe want to
come to my house tonight if you don't want to go home?"
She paused, "I don't
know..." it was almost like she was uncomfortable with the question. This is weird because she comes over so much that she
even has most of her stuff in the bathroom and a spare suitcase there too. "I don't think I should leave Nicky home alone..."
she trailed off and gazed out the window of the car.
I think she just felt
uncomfortable with what I saw at her house but I never did imply what I saw.
Dirty dishes in the
sink, broken chairs, blood stained walls, and ripped up magazines all pointed to abuse but I didn't want to admit it to myself
that I was right.
Even when we started
to go out I knew what was going on, she thought I knew nothing, but little did she know, I knew everything. I never knew what
to do about it, so I never said anything, I just tried to ignore it and hoped that it would go away. The more I fell in love
with her, the more I cared about what was going on at her house. I wasn't strong enough inside to help her and I hated myself
for it all those years.
We pulled up her driveway
and all the lights were out, it was strange to see that at that
house because there was always something going on late into the
night, and I don't think anyone in there slept. I looked over towards her and noticed the concern on her face.
"Are you going to be
all right tonight?"
"What do you mean?"
she answered quickly.
"Well, that big crack
in your head looks pretty bad,"
"Oh that... umm yah
I'll be fine, I always am, I've had worse," she sarcastically replied.
She stepped out of the
car, careful not to hit her head. I was surprised that she didn't give me a goodnight kiss and instead just walked away.
As I watched her climb up the stairs she gave me a quick wave and a smile before shutting the door behind her.
I knew then, as I drove
away, that would be the last time I saw her sweet smile.
I dove on my bed when
I got home and I couldn't help but let the tears fall. Benji walked in and read my mind. I hate when he does that.
"What's up dude?" as
if he didn't know.
"I'd rather not talk
about it right now"
"Well, do you want something
to eat or anything? I heard you were at the hospital all day."
"I'm not hungry right
now, I don't think I'll ever be, ever again,"
"Okay I know something's
up, what the hell happened man? Did you guys break up or something?"
"Well..." I started.
We talked long into
the night until morning sprang upon us. All the while I was thinking of her, if I should have left her there, who knows what
could have happened if i hadn't.