Miracle of Toilet Paper...
Fresh from my shower,
I stand in front of the mirror
complaining to my husband
that my breasts are too small.
Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so,
he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow,
then every day take a piece of toilet paper
and rub it between them for a few seconds.
" Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper
and stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
"How long will this take?" I asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies.
"Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper
between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says
"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"
He's still alive,
and with a great deal of therapy
he may even walk again.
Stupid, stupid man.