_-_ Remember? _-_
We never spoke about what happened,
At least not to eachother,
After the shit went down,
Fear I suppose.
That to remember what happened,
Or what it did to us,
would mean letting it into our dreams,
And letting it haunt us.
I hardly dream about it anymore,
Still,
Things will never be the same,
Before it came to town,
In a blow, that destored
Everything.
But that's alright,
Because if you hang onto
The past,
You die a little everyday,
And for myself,
I know I want to live.
_-_ Good-Bye _-_
Let there be grass,
Grow on my grave,
For I died in peace ,
And not in vain.
I shall watch over you,
For the many years ahead,
I may not be alive,
But for sure im not dead.
I will stay here in the graveyard
-Green as jade,
And I will be free,
Free of the torment that incaptured me.
Free of the pain,
Free of the hurt,
But most of all free of the guilt,
I may have been smiling,
But inside I was dying.
Like they say,
I'm in a better place now
-Don't be sad,
Think of all the good time that we've had.
All that i could think of,
were ways to die alone,
And finally recived my wish,
It was just a scratch I had to itch.
So good-bye to you all,
I will miss you so much,
Thank-you for all of
The love and the luck.
_-_ Alone? _-_
You think you're alone, but you're not.
You think those things you see
And hear aren't real, aren't they?
Your thoughts are blured between
Whats real, and what's not.
To be alone is frightening,
Because you have to deal with this.
Your mind can become a whole other person.
Telling you things that you don't want to hear,
Making you see things that aren't really there.
It will play games with you, if you let it.
Feeding off your fears, it will grow stronger.
"Nobody's there," you keep telling yourself,
If so, who do you keep talking to?
Telling them to just leave you alone.
Being isolated can be a dangerous thing,
All you have to think about are your thoughts,
It can make people go crazy.
You can't make a cry for help
Besause, who will ever believe you?
Or stop you in time before you go insane.
You can't ascape it, or even embrace it.
The only thing you can do, is never be alone?
_-_ I need a friend, not a counselor _-_
The bitter sweetness of death,
Hangs over me like a bisket to a dog.
Craving the taste of blood once again.
Trying to hide your thoughts is key,
Putting on a mask to hide the truth,
But to never take it off.
People always wonder what your thinking,
But you must never revel true sincerity.
Questions they are always asking,
Just trying to figure me out.
I can't let them get to close,
Or I might want to push them away.
They think they know whats right,
but they don't know a thing.
Don't try to fix me I'm not broken,
At least that's what I keep telling myself.
Whenever I just need someone to talk to,
No one's ever there.
Your always trying to dissect me,
Taking every word into consideration.
I need a friend, not a counselor.
_-_ Suicide _-_
You weren't there to tell me not to,
Or to dry my tears and tell me everything was ok,
I had no one to help me,
So I had to listen to the voices inside my head,
They told me to do this,
They told me it was the right thing to do,
Deep down I know I shouldn't have
And for that, I am sorry
_-_ Untitled _-_
What's outside my window at night?
These things I will never know,
What's lurking in my closet?
These things will always be there,
What could be hiding underneath my bed?
Draining me from sleep,
What's scratching at my door?
And gnawing at my brain.
(This one isn't done by the way)
_-_Go Ahead, I Dare You_-_
Go ahead, I dare you,
Look into the mirror,
And tell me what you see
Do you see the monster?
That you've become.
The one that everyone
Looks at with disgust.
You hate yourself
-Don't you!
Those scars on your wrists
Show that you do.
Go ahead, I dare you,
Cut the pain away,
You know you want to,
You have before,
What are you waiting for?
Someone to save you
From yourself?
-Well it's not going to happen,
No one loves you that much.
Sure they ask what's wrong,
But really, they don't care.
So go ahead, I dare you,
Waste your life away,
No body's listening anyways,
To your pitiful cries for help.
Instead of attempting,
Just do it and be through.
People will get over it.
Stop thinking that they won't.
You’re not important anyway.
No wonder why they hit you.
So pick up the knife,
Go ahead, I dare you.
_-_ Liar _-_
To show no love for another,
Means you have no love for yourself.
To be cold all the time, questions me.
How can you live like that?
Don't you get lonely at times?
Why can't you see the people around you?
Can you only see yourself?
You are so selfish, so narrow minded.
Always thinking that you’re right.
Your words pierce me,
Like a knife to skin.
How can you say you care,
When you don't even say hello.
Why must you be so violent?
With everything you say.
Do you even love me?
How dare you say you do.
Money isn't love,
Money is a bribe to shut me up.
When you both have shouting matches
-In the kitchen,
Do you think it's funny?
That I sleep with a pillow over top my head?
Or do you think it's funny that I hurt so much,
Inside and out.
_-_ Panic Attack _-_
My gasping breath quickly
gets shorter,
As I struggle to breath.
Feeling like I’m
dying,
I fall to my knees.
My only hope now,
Is to try and hold on.
To wait until it’s
over,
And hope that I’m not
gone.
Cold hands are around my neck,
Killing me slowly.
They are draining the life
from me,
But still placed there roughly.
I shift to the mirror,
To see what I can see,
To see why the person
is trying to destroy me,
But all I can attempt to see
is me.
_-_ I Love You
Jesse _-_
If you were to jump of
a cliff,
I might as well hold your
hand on the way down.
When you get lonely,
Don’t worry I’ll
be there.
We’ve been through
so much together,
And through it all you’ve
stood by my side.
And now it’s time
for me to do the same.
You need to know that
I trust you with my life,
And love you with every
part of my heart,
Because you are my heart.
You know when I need you
the most,
Even though I say I’m
fine.
You remind me that I’m
beautiful,
Even though I say I’m
not.
You make my worries go
away when I’m near you.
I can say anything that's
on my mind,
And be just who I am,
Because you love just
who I am.
I will be yours in life
and death,
And even if we aren’t
together forever,
I will always remember
you
- As the person who saved me from myself.
I love you Jesse
