_-_ I Surrender _-_  

I feel like just giving up,

Throwing my hands up in the air

And saying I surrender.

Putting up a white flag,

And ending it all,

Giving up the war of life.

I just can't take it anymore,

All the lies and the deception.

They are all bringing me down,

And I’m not going to get up.

I wish I could go back in time,

Before all the bad things happened,

And stay there forever.

But since I can’t I will just lie here

In my sorrows and depression.

I will simply coast through life,

Ignoring all the bumps.

Pretending everything’s fine,

Will be my path.

Someday if I chose not to follow it,

That will be ok too.

I want to go wherever my heart takes me,

But I’m afraid of making a mistake.

I think I need help the most,

Friends have to pick me up when I fall.

I don’t think I’m ever leaving this place,

I really wish I could but I can’t.

To think that I could be stuck here

Scares the crap out of me.

That’s why I want it all to stop.

I can’t take it anymore.

 

 

_-_ Your Fault _-_

 

There scars are a forever a reminder,

Of how you hurt me so.

You hurt me so bad,

That these scars are nothing.

The pain was so deep,

That it even hurt to breath.

You’ve taught me to never trust

Someone with my whole heart.

To never let my true feelings show.

But yet time and time again,

Over and over I do.

I relive the sting, the burn,

But most of all the guilt.

The guilt of lying to myself.

Telling myself that you really did change,

You weren’t using me for sex,

That you loved me.

I hate myself for thinking such things.

Now I feel used.

I am the worthless trash that nobody wants.

No matter how deep the blade goes,

 The numbness will never go away.

So this time I’ve decided.

I’ve decided to carve your name

As hard as I can into my veins.

So I won’t forget,

And so you will never fail to remember

That it was your fault I killed myself.